How articles turn on land, I made a deal with a source artist. She gave him a strength of 10 men, his muscles grew, but his body shrank.

He's got all the tone and grains with greasy vocal fold.

Malevolent. Terrify

Olá.

Šī saruna ir subord and free tools that allow her to teleport.

Somehow she still leaves the input beep.

Yeah, I— I'm pr

I'm pretty sure she does that.

That's going on, he is a construct.

A construct?

Yeah.

Collection of dirty mud made sentient with magic.

I think he's only—

Griffin, mission one agrees.

I'll bleed.

Weaponizes light rays as sunshade.

Labi, stabilizēs.

Why does she dress like a pop star?

She's actually st

For YouTube.

Good time.

Well, I trust our thought of you.

That makes sense. Yeah.

We read the ST analysis now.

I'm not insane anymore.

Uh, I'm 011

The dispatcher. So dispatcher.

Where do we start?

Well, well, it appears we've got our first call from a subscriber.

I saw some scary suspicious men last night leaving the old movie theater.

You'll receive replacements to help you determine which heroes to send.

Such an array of brave heroes to choose from.

This graph will show you what a hero does well and not so well.

Oh, looks right.

Good job.

That sounds like me.

Now that at least one hero is being dispatched, it's time to get to work.

A sound approach.

I will now return to SDN.

When a hero returns to SDN, they'll need some much-needed RNO.

That stands for rest and relaxation.

Don't forget to review your heroes' performance.

They won't be sent out again until you do.

On SDN's state-of-the-art graph, we can see an analysis of what skills the call required.

Let's see how well I did after responding to that caller's.

Well, call.

There's no such thing as a perfect fit.

Use your intellect and your roster to your advantage.

The more that my skills align with the needs of the job, the more likely I am to succeed.

Organized criminals often led by figurehead supervillains are the scourge of Southern California.

We've worked tirelessly to root them out.

Quick potential villain hideout on their college campus.

Sometimes the solution is brains, not wrong.

SDN's diverse array of heroes can solve any problem.

And to buy milk tomorrow?

I see you have a keen mind.

I need to buy milk tomorrow.

For the museum is doing an exhibit on local superheroes and even history.

I was supposed to open up my throat to you. Okay. There.

Pop it on. This is part of the assessment. And don't move too much in there. You're sitting on the edge of a billboard.

Greetings and welcome to this training simulation. We may be superheroes, but we're nothing without SDN's real hero.

We can work with this.

Fuck.

No, this.

I'm, I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression.

Oh, no.

It's my fault.

I'm so sorry. I totally misread that.

You didn't. I didn't. But I, I definitely.

The way I went about things tonight, I'm sorry. It was all a little loose, a little unprofessional.

Unprofessional? I'm not sure that that applies to this.

I'm actually here on official business, how I know your name, the proposition I mentioned right before you spit in my mouth.

Still mortified about that.

It's fine.

Do you remember a superhero named Trackstar?

Remember, of course. He's like family.

That I've been talked to in a while. Wh

What about him?

I work with him at SDN. He recommended you. Mentioned that he worked with your father.

Yeah. He was the youngest member of the Brave Brigade, so he was kind of my babysitter for a while.

How's he doing?

He's doing great. He's, he's why I'm here.

Robert, I would like to make you an offer.

An exchange for dispatching and mentoring some of our rookie heroes.

SDN can make you Meccan man again.

But this time with all the resources that a company as big as ours has at their disposal.

No more paying out of pocket for repairs.

Support staff, the whole shebang.

My suit was totally destroyed.

I saw the report. Studied the footage.

It's not totally destroyed, just mostly.

It's a big investment. It'll take considerable time and money to get the suit repaired and the missing pieces replaced.

Plenty of time to learn how to dispatch and level up some of the heroes on our roster.

Your experience, your work ethic, your perspective, it's all invaluable.

Share it, Robert.

You have a lot left to give.

So when do we get started?

Wait. So you want me dispatching?

Unsetting me.

Oh, right. I was supposed to test you at the bar. Here.

The drunk people shouldn't be throwing things at drunk people.

Noted.

Am I waiting or are you waiting? What's going on?

Hmm? Oh, yeah. That would have been cool.

Oh, no. Yeah. This, this is better because you can see it. And it, it looks like there's a couple up there already, so.

I really appreciate you coming to my rescue back there. I still think I could have handled it, but. All I'm trying to say is thanks.

I should have just said that, but.

Yeah. I'm still talking.

Don't you worry about it, Robert Robertson.

How do you know my name?

Oops.

What's going on?

Okay. I'll tell you. But only after y

But only after you tell me how you ended up with a name like that.

Oh, you mean a name like Robert Robertson III?

The third three times this happened?

There was Grandpa Bobby, then my dad, who I call Dad, but everyone else called Robby, and then me.

Robert.

Because I wanted to be taken seriously.

Mm. Family tradition.

And more ways than one.

Gramps was the first Meccan man, and he died in the zoo before I was born.

Dad was killed fighting Shroud. That's when I took over.

There was a little inheritance, and the life insurance money.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize.

Just your run-of-the-mill sad superhero origin story.

The family tradition. If there is one.

Is dying without a suit.

Which I guess I don't have to worry about anymore.

What is it?

I'm not quite drunk enough to share my origin story just yet.

But you remind me to tell you someday.

Definitely.

The toughness isn't born in comfort. It thrives in the unknown. Marines are made for this.

I actually thought you were taking us to sit on it.

Hey.

I couldn't find you.

Uh, it's cool. I was just admiring the art on this dumpster.

Can't tell why anyone would put those words together.

Why are you holding drinks?

Nightcap?

You're in trouble.

Actually, according to the bartender, that's exactly what you are.

What happened in there?

I walk out and the bartender's pissed.

Whole energy is awkward.

And why did it smell like burnt hair?

Oh, my glass slipped and I made a little mess.

Just a little mess?

Yeah.

Does that not sound convincing enough?

Hold these. I know a place.

You stung.

It's a little out there. Easier if we fly.

So, how did you afford all that? You must have spent hundreds of thousands of.

Millions.

So you'll understand when the check comes.

You're serious?

Millions.

Yeah, I basically burned for my entire inheritance keeping it going.

The last couple of years have just been duct tape and cheer.

Termination.

Ugh. Wh

Why did you do it?

Do what?

Sacrifice everything to be a superhero to the point of financial.

Ruin.

I was gonna say hardship, but ruin was the first word that came to mind, yeah.

You must be completely broke at this point.

I don't know.

I guess I just like helping people.

So, are you drunk yet or what?

Uh, yeah, yeah. I should probably switch into water.

Good, because I was hoping after some drinks to loosen you up, I could learn a little more about you and, uh, if all that went well, present you with a proposition.

A proposition?

Yeah. I'm just trying to figure out if this is a fit or not, you know? Then it's just a matter of picking the right moment.

Well, I have to say, Blazer, that does sound intriguing.

That's actually.

You.

Not water.

No, this is like pure alcohol.

It's not like alcohol. It is alcohol. I know because you spit it directly into my open mouth.

That's water.

That see how it has ice in it?

You drink hard liquor from a pint glass?

Actually, I usually just drink it straight from the bottle, but I thought that would be embarrassing.

I'm gonna go clean up.

I'm so sorry.

No, it's fine. I will be right back.

So, how did you afford all that? You must have spent hundreds of thousands of.

Millions.

So you'll understand when the check comes.

You're serious?

Millions.

Yeah, I basically burned for my entire inheritance keeping it going.

The last couple of years have just been duct tape and cheer.

Termination.

Ugh. Wh

Why did you do it?

Do what?

Sacrifice everything to be a superhero to the point of financial.

Ruin.

I was gonna say hardship, but ruin was the first word that came to mind, yeah.

You must be completely broke at this point.

I don't know.

I guess I just like helping people.

So, are you drunk yet or what?

Uh, yeah, yeah. I should probably switch into water.

Good, because I was hoping after some drinks to loosen you up, I could learn a little more about you and, uh, if all that went well, present you with a proposition.

A proposition?

Yeah. I'm just trying to figure out if this is a fit or not, you know? Then it's just a matter of picking the right moment.

Well, I have to say, Blazer, that does sound intriguing.

That's actually.

You.

Not water.

No, this is like pure alcohol.

It's not like alcohol. It is alcohol. I know because you spit it directly into my open mouth.

That's water.

That see how it has ice in it?

You drink hard liquor from a pint glass?

Actually, I usually just drink it straight from the bottle, but I thought that would be embarrassing.

I'm gonna go clean up.

I'm so sorry.

No, it's fine. I will be right back.

And what are you doing?

Hey, bitch.

Hey.

Talking to you, bitch.

All right, just so you know, I only turned around because someone yelled, not because I'm a bitch or anything.

Don't you watch the news? This is a superhero bar.

Oh, wow. Are you a superhero?

That's so cool.

Is this your power? You're like, tell people obvious shit guy?

Well, you're really going to have to eat all the lamb on me.

Wait, it's coming back to me. Hold on. Yeah, it's coming back to me.

Oh, wait.

You were Dr. Don't Do Shit. Your deal is you walk up to people, look threatening, talk a big game, then don't do shit about it.

Also, you're not a real doctor because you're a fucking idiot.

Shit.

That is damn.

Feel good?

Sorry. I choked on my spit.

Oh, my little bitch.

I control the fire.

The fire?

And the flame.

In my skin.

Does not burn.

I.

I am flambe.

And you.

Wait. Oh, shit. I do remember you. You're that shitty villain I busted up.

Not anymore. Like a dick

Like a dick.

As I. Liter

Literally just said.

I.

I am flambe.

A real superhero.

And you are not like a man anymore.

So.

You need to get the fuck out of here.

No.

We can do this the easy way.

Sorry.

Which way is that?

Hey.

No, punch up.

You're literally feigning the flames right now.

Shit. Yeah, you're right. Anybody gonna rogue?

You gotta drop and roll, lad.

Thought he doesn't burn.

Some people become scared before they even know they're hurt.

Like babies.

Hey.

Make a dick. G

Get the fuck out of here.

I get it. Can you just tell Blazer I'm outside?

Ow.

Relax. I'm leaving.

You know what? I can't tell which one of us had the rough day.

Hmm?

Oh, no. I got a great day.

Well, that's not totally true.

Oh, you're joking.

Sorry.

It's fine. Don't worry about keeping up. Something to do at the power, is it? It takes a lot for me to feel anything.

What is that sentence?

Hey, you should give yourself more credit. To do what you did for as long as you did, especially without superpowers.

I'm not true.

What do you call this?

I think that's that one for you too.

No, thanks. I like this one.

Thank you.

You look like you could use a drink.

What makes you say that?

Shit, they were all Skittles colors.

I didn't even realize it.

Yeah, well, you know what? They can taste the rainbow in jail.

What, what do you mean? Like different colored dicks?

Shit.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I actually didn't know what I meant, but you know what? It should have been that.

I'm a little buzzed. I don't really make jokes like that.

I think Vizzy's rubbing off on me.

Who?

Uh, someone I work with. It's—yeah.

Hi, I'm Blonde Blazer.

I work over at Superhero Dispatch Network.

Hey, hi, yeah.

I know who you are. You're like, famous.

Oh, I don't know about that. I'm just a corporate hero for hire.

You're the real deal. You're the famous one.

All right, I don't think infamous is the same as famous, but.

Mm, oh God, your arm.

Ugh, fuck.

Mm, oh yeah.

That's gross.

Damn, you look like some kind of mind DJ.

Let me see it. I'll help you.

Usually dislocates the other way.

No offense, but I prefer a medical professional to do that.

Oh, okay.

Oh, that's, uh, that's okay.

One of them is on that roof.

Hey.

Assholes.

Yeah.

Just put the TVs back and you can leave.

I won't say anything to the cops and this doesn't need to escalate.

Hey, who are you calling assholes?

Asshole.

I'll handle this idiot.

Keep loading.

Get out of here in 30.

And who the fuck are you?

Yeah, you. Go, go fucking hobo ranger.

I'm mecha man.

You're not mecha man. That's mecha man.

I'm mecha man, dipshit. Okay, that's my suit.

Well, you're gonna be wishing you had it right now.

Whatever the case, I'm gonna have to deal with a pack of fucking Skittles idiots like you.

God damn it.

Look, you're hurt. You're not thinking straight.

You don't want to fight someone who knows which hand every punch is coming from.

Fuck that.

What the—

That guy I threw, he landed on the roof, right?

All good.

Phew.

I just one more, please, I gotta get back to, uh, just, just one more.

Preferably someone from the century, Charles Kingsley, South Bay Signal.

So, Shroud, kills your father, goes to jail 15 years, breaks out, and immediately dudes you into a trap where he destroys the mecha man suit and puts you in a coma for months.

I didn't hear a question there.

Two-part.

First, why didn't Shroud kill you?

You haven't been conscious for months. It'd be easy money taking you out.

Okay, Shroud wanted the astral pulse and mecha man gone. He got both.

I'm not sure I mattered much.

Right, you're unimportant. Which leads me to my next question. Most heroes avenge their family. You did the opposite.

You killed their legacy.

How disappointed would your dad be if he were here right now?

Your father.

Your grandfather.

They must be rolling over in their graves.

I think he'd be proud.

Because I'm alive.

Which, as you so sensitively pointed out, he isn't. I think he knows that I sacrificed everything and that I did my best. Being mecha man, protecting my community, was the greatest honor I'll ever have. Now I have to live knowing that.

Thank you for coming.

I'll connect.

Is mecha man a mecha quitter?

Yeah, I mean, it seemed like he'd be better if he died than be a mecha coward, you know?

What kind of example is he setting?

Stay tuned to find out.

It was just over four months ago that images like this were recorded across the Southlands, videos flooded social media and our newsroom showing what many thought to be the death of Mechaman.

For nearly fifty years

Own as an astronaut, teamed up with a star-studded superhero group known as the Brave Brigade, leading to an unprecedented period of peace in the Southwest. After years of loyal service, tragedy struck again when Shroud, a former Brave Brigade member turned villain, killed the pilot Mecha-Man named Coldblood.

But yet again, as hope was lost, a third generation of Mecha-Man emerged, a Mecha-Man for the modern era. A bulwark against organized crime in the Greater Los Angeles area, until today.

I spent a lot of speculation about my health and the state of the mecha man suit, and I'm here to put that speculation to rest. The suit has been damaged beyond my ability to repair, so I will be stepping back from superhero work. Effective immediately.

It was just over four months ago that images like this were recorded across the Southlands, videos flooded social media and our newsroom showing what many thought to be the death of Mechaman.

For nearly fifty years

Own as an astronaut, teamed up with a star-studded superhero group known as the Brave Brigade, leading to an unprecedented period of peace in the Southwest. After years of loyal service, tragedy struck again when Shroud, a former Brave Brigade member turned villain, killed the pilot Mecha-Man named Coldblood.

But yet again, as hope was lost, a third generation of Mecha-Man emerged, a Mecha-Man for the modern era. A bulwark against organized crime in the Greater Los Angeles area, until today.

I spent a lot of speculation about my health and the state of the mecha man suit, and I'm here to put that speculation to rest. The suit has been damaged beyond my ability to repair, so I will be stepping back from superhero work. Effective immediately.

Does this mean you're finished?

We'll repair your suit for mecha man.

Does this mean your career is over

In your career is over.

I'm glad we were you hurt.

One at a time, please.

It's Ashley Reiness, Zan Pedro Daly, do you have anything to say to your fans?

I work as long as I could, as hard as I could, and my school didn't listen to me. Next question.

Chris Stratton, what happened to you?

Is this media retiring as mecha man?

What on the street is your gun zone?

Do you 100 years old? What are you talking like that?

Answer the question, buddy boy, are you retiring?

My readers need the skinny, and I aim to deliver.

Let's get it on the record.

Look, I'm not retiring.

Not yet, at least.

Any idea what you can do without the mecha man suit?

Not yet.

I aim to deliver.

Let's get it on the record.

Look, I'm not retiring.

Not yet, at least.

Any idea what you can do without the mecha man suit?

Not yet.

I just one more, please, I gotta get back to, uh, just, just one more.

Preferably someone from the century, Charles Kingsley, South Bay Signal.

So, Shroud, kills your father, goes to jail 15 years, breaks out, and immediately dudes you into a trap where he destroys the mecha man suit and puts you in a coma for months.

I didn't hear a question there.

Two-part.

First, why didn't Shroud kill you?

You haven't been conscious for months. It'd be easy money taking you out.

Okay, Shroud wanted the astral pulse and mecha man gone. He got both.

I'm not sure I mattered much.

Right, you're unimportant. Which leads me to my next question. Most heroes avenge their family. You did the opposite.

You killed their legacy.

How disappointed would your dad be if he were here right now?

Your father.

Your grandfather.

They must be rolling over in their graves.

I think he'd be proud.

Because I'm alive.

Which, as you so sensitively pointed out, he isn't. I think he knows that I sacrificed everything and that I did my best. Being mecha man, protecting my community, was the greatest honor I'll ever have. Now I have to live knowing that.

Thank you for coming.

I'll connect.

Is mecha man a mecha quitter?

Yeah, I mean, it seemed like he'd be better if he died than be a mecha coward, you know?

What kind of example is he setting?

Stay tuned to find out.

You just—you just put it inside the cup.

I've seen nothing other than napkin for all the juices behind the napkin and the small cup.

No, it's not 100% of it.

The juice is gone.

You just put—you just—you just put it inside the cup.

Mmm, the mint roasted cream is one of the kind out there. We must, the lover, we must

Theoretically, if I had a couple bodies to dispose of, how many do you think would fit?

Do you know the way I do when I'm loving your body? And do you know the way I do when I'm loving your body? When I'm loving your body, let's love in your body. Do you know the way I do when I'm loving your body?

Pull up on the high street crowd in a glove box. Red puppet dripping like London raindrops. Double-headed eagle sitting heavy on my chest. I came from the palace, but I rep it with the best. Queensbridge? Nah. Queens Road in the cold.

Theoretically, if I had a couple bodies to dispose of, how many do you think would fit?

Right after that prime?

Two. I

I can tell which of you use ChatGPT.

I'm going to pass your resume to McDonald's.

Oh my God.

I told you the only AI allowed on this campus is StudyFetch.

I can tell which of you use ChatGPT.

I'm going to pass your resume to McDonald's.

Oh my God.

I told you the only AI allowed on this campus is StudyFetch.

I can tell which of you use ChatGPT.

Bye-bye.

No. You

You got to get out of here. What

What is this?

Goosebumps.

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Yo, $20 right now if you can zip in that jacket.

So all the niggas saying I can't zip up my jacket.

Fuck you.

Yo, $20 right now if you can zip in that jacket.

It's all the niggas saying I can't zip up my jacket.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Yo, $20 right now if you can zip in that jacket.

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Okay, then how old are you? How tall are you, Christian?

6'7".

Yo, $20 right now if you can zip in that jacket.

So all the niggas saying I can't zip up my jacket.

Fuck you.

Yo, $20 right now if you can zip in that jacket.

It's all the niggas saying I can't zip up my jacket.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Yo, $20 right now if you can zip in that jacket.

Okay, let's look at Harvard.

Okay.

I didn't get it.

Hi. It

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. Next one, we have 50, 50 more.

Princeton, Princeton, Princeton, Princeton, huh?

Okay, Princeton.

Okay.

I didn't get it.

Oh, it's okay.

Kentucky, Kentucky, Kentucky.

Oh,

Just one easy one.

Just one easy one.

I didn't get it.

Hi.

Okay, okay. Oh,

Oh, step under, step under, step under, step under.

Step under.

Do you want to get hit?

Baby.

What up? We'll

'll be late to the party tonight.

Where at?

You know where it's at.

Huh?

Go ahead, babe.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Go ahead, babe.

No, no, no, no. Let's not tell you

Let's not tell you to put the phone down.

Uh-oh, somebody's going to have to pay for that.

Hey, poor.

No.

What are you up for?

I'll show you.

All right, listen.

This is

Brooke, we're going to end it, okay?

I just don't want you to be offended.

We don't wait.

No. It's okay.

I made that clear to him even when we were still.

This is a Titan? No, that was just an anatomy chart you weaved. Anyway, the way it changed how a man could eternally function in real life. Then G activates his chainsaw by pulling this cord right here in the center of his chest. It's most likely his heart was replaced with a crankshaft attached to a piston. And there were probably a section in his nervous system that works in tandem with the crankshaft in order.

Do you want to get hit?

Baby.

This is working.

Here's your daily reminder that just because there's a ceasefire doesn't mean Israel's occupation of Palestine is over. Daily life in the West Bank still means going on a quick errand can get you stuck in the middle of a military raid. Debating whether or not you're going to have to sleep in the shop and if opening the door to take a video will get you shot.

And all the while your cousin is worried about her car, so you go out, basically at gunpoint, to try and save it. Which we managed to do, but ended up in an even worse spot with the Israeli military on both sides of us. Some people nearby made us tea while we watched the drones circling the air. Sound bombs going off.

And then a whole lot of tear gas.

At which point we ran into their house, but their windows were open, so the entire house was full of gas and we could barely breathe.

And then eventually the soldiers left, and we went home like nothing happened because Israel has normalized its occupation and violence.

Here's your daily reminder that just because there's a ceasefire doesn't mean Israel's occupation of Palestine is over.

So many shitty candidates, dude. I'll reject 99% of applicants, and then the couple bangers get the job. So, like, don't ever be scared away by that, but do, to your point, like, they're not looking at it.

But, but how.

And they're not technical, and they're not engineers. It's just, like, slop from the human side.

Yeah, I know. It's like, that's what I called it before. I called it, like, slop or clog. It's like all this artificial clog of all these people saying they're AI machine learning engineers. They don't know how to define a list or what a tuple is. Like, how is Susie from HR even possibly going to filter through that? And that also makes it harder for, like, legit candidates to break through. Because you have all these guys, you have all these guys, artificially lying about what they do. And then, like, when you ask them in an actual interview, I can spend 15 minutes with them, and I know that these people don't know Jack.

So many shitty candidates, dude. I'll reject 99%.

We're making a lie.

What's a lie to a king?

What's a king to a guy?

What's a guy to an unbeliever?

Who don't believe in

Baking in Norway with my girlfriend and my ex.

Hi.

We're making a Norwegian cinnamon.

It's our first time baking, right?

Yeah.

Baking in Norway with my girlfriend and my ex.

Hi.

We're making a Norwegian cinnamon.

It's our first time baking, right?

Yeah.

Baking in Norway with my girlfriend and my ex.

Hi.

We're making a Norwegian cinnamon.

It's our first time baking, right?

Yeah.

Baking in Norway with my girlfriend and my ex.

Hi.

It's just like.

Come with me to my favorite of.

We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves.

Where our eyes.

Come for a long run with me.

Okay, Batman, we'll take it from here.

All right, listen.

Okay, Batman, we'll take it from here.

All right, listen.

A Lebanese man was caught by airport security in Toronto with what?

As an entrepreneur,

How to secretly hit trans shit without your own voice finding out. Here's the first step. We know they have big feet, right? So you want to buy like a size 7 women's shoe and every time they come over, you want to just swap the shoe so if you're home.

Why are you still watching this video? I knew it, bro, for the longest. I knew it. I just couldn't prove it, bro. How to secretly hit trans shit without your own voice finding out. Here's the first step.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Everybody's dirty, everywhere stinks.

I am tired of it.

Thank you.